That day started like all others, it crept on like all others.....but the end changed my life forever......
The voice on the other end of the line was trying to stay calm, trying to keep me calm. I know I was surely not hearing these words, I must have been in a dream state having a terrible nightmare.
Dad's had a heart attack.....and it doesn't look good.....I questioned immediately where was he, why was he not here at our hospital, why were they not air lifting him to a place more equipped, only "I don't know" were the replies. I waited forever by the phone for more information, but in reality it was only minutes I'm sure. I sat glued in the chair staring out the window watching dusk replace the setting sun, telling myself it wasn't real, only I knew....it was real, and it was bad. Finally I picked up the phone and redialed the unfamiliar number that had brought me this life altering news. Then I was talking to a doctor....flat lined......ambulance.....I'm so sorry...............................
Nothing will ever be the same again. Not my waking, not my walking through this house, not my walking through this life, nothing, will ever, be, the same, again.
I wasn't prepared, I'm still not prepared, yet I move on from one day to the next, without knowledge of how I got there. I'm guided by an inner strength, or an inner will, I must be, or surely I wouldn't be moving at all. Death is not unfamiliar to me, it's been a long time, but it's knocked on my family's door more than once. Twice before I've had loved ones ripped from my life, just as suddenly, just as unexpectedly.
Death leave me alone!! I've paid my dues, I've fallen at your feet, I've given you all I have to give, please Death, just leave me alone......
October 28, 2015....changed my life forever.....
The voice on the other end of the line was trying to stay calm, trying to keep me calm. I know I was surely not hearing these words, I must have been in a dream state having a terrible nightmare.
Dad's had a heart attack.....and it doesn't look good.....I questioned immediately where was he, why was he not here at our hospital, why were they not air lifting him to a place more equipped, only "I don't know" were the replies. I waited forever by the phone for more information, but in reality it was only minutes I'm sure. I sat glued in the chair staring out the window watching dusk replace the setting sun, telling myself it wasn't real, only I knew....it was real, and it was bad. Finally I picked up the phone and redialed the unfamiliar number that had brought me this life altering news. Then I was talking to a doctor....flat lined......ambulance.....I'm so sorry...............................
Nothing will ever be the same again. Not my waking, not my walking through this house, not my walking through this life, nothing, will ever, be, the same, again.
I wasn't prepared, I'm still not prepared, yet I move on from one day to the next, without knowledge of how I got there. I'm guided by an inner strength, or an inner will, I must be, or surely I wouldn't be moving at all. Death is not unfamiliar to me, it's been a long time, but it's knocked on my family's door more than once. Twice before I've had loved ones ripped from my life, just as suddenly, just as unexpectedly.
Death leave me alone!! I've paid my dues, I've fallen at your feet, I've given you all I have to give, please Death, just leave me alone......
October 28, 2015....changed my life forever.....
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